Artemis Fowl is available on (Disney-Hotstar) Starring Ferdia Shaw,Lara McDonnell,Josh Gad,Tamara Smart,Nonso Anozie,Colin Farrell,Judi Dench.
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Rating: * (1 star)
The film’s little hero who has an extremely fishy as well as unconventional name of Artemis Fowl, and his associates in arms Holly and Juliet Butler (whose Uncle is actually Artemis’ butler) try so hard to be cool that they end up being the opposite.
These kids are just firing blank bullets at green screens as the greenhorns let out collective bouts of screams hoping that somewhere the adventure story will stop being as juvenile as the young protagonists.
If the elders watch the film then they might yawn through the painfully long adventure saga that looks like a 3D vision shrunken during the time of the current crisis.
The sad part is that it’s not just the size of the screen that ties down the adventures of Artemis and his friends. It’s the subversion of the Star Wars/Indiana Jones tropes into something so callow and ill-conceived that it seems like a mockery of the 3D-sci-fi tradition.
The film comes from the distinguished Kenneth Branagh whose Shakespeare adaptations have regaled us for decades, Artemis Fowl seems like a regression into juvenile senility, a sort of Men in Diapers after the Men In Black have aged gracelessly.
The plot of the film is that it begins with Colin Farrell(lately down in the dumps) making a distracted appearance as young Artemis’ globally notorious entrepreneur-criminal(something like Chandrachur Singh in Aarya).
When Farrell tells his young co-star Ferdia Shaw(nicely done, son), ‘I have to go’ right at the start of the film, he sounds like he is making a hasty retreat into the potty from a party that is going to go horribly wrong.
The film would impress a seven-year-old who has not been allowed to watch television.